Piranha 3D: Movie Review

Piranha 3D: Movie Review

Piranha 3D
Rating: 7/10
Cast: Steven McQueen, Elisabeth Shue,Ving Rhames, Kelly Brook, Jerry O'Connell, Lots of piranha with sharp vicious teeth
Director: Alexandre Aja
Seriously - you want a plot? Most of it's there in the title...
OK - It's spring break in Arizona and with thousands of randy ready to party teens heading to town and on Lake Victoria itself, local sheriff Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) has her hands full.
But matters are made worse when an earthquake rips open a prehistoric cavern where thousands of vicious death fish live (See I told you the plot was minimal) and they plough into the Lake ready to feast.
However, Julie's woes are further compounded by the fact her son Jake (McQueen) is on the sea having fallen in with sleazy sex film maker Derrick Jones (O'Connell) who's out to exploit everyone and anything in a bikini to help make a new series of Girls Gone wild style videos during this peak time of nubile nudity.
And as if that wasn't bad enough, Jake's foregone his baby sitting duties and left his brother and sister to their own devices for the promise of some babes - let's just hope that those cutesy kids don't wander off and end up on the lake.
- This just in - That's exactly what the kids have done....
So with the promise of gore, nudity and minimal plot exposition, it looks like Spring Break is going to be one to remember.
Look, it's time to fess up - you can file Piranha under guilty pleasure and bloody good fun - if you like countless deaths, gratuitous nudity and B movie acting. It's a remake of the 1978 film (which was itself a parody of Jaws) and works well in places because you actually care about some of the characters (such as Jake and his sheriff mum).
Sometimes, cinema isn't about anything more than the pure pleasure and putting your brain in a jar outside the door and collecting on the way out - this fish porn gore combination isn't going to win any major awards but it is destined for cult notoriety with its quotable lines and high bloody death quotient.
It's a worthy successor to Jaws for our generation (admittedly without the real tension) - the Facebook short attention span generation who want everything bigger, better and nastier than before - sure some of it is pure exploitation (such as the topless paraglider who goes into the water when the camera suddenly switches to underwater 3D mode) and the carnage unleashed by feeding frenzy when the piranha hit is ferocious - those alone will satiate a certain section of the audience.
Every ingredient is there - the kids who disobey authority, the sleazy guy who's selfishly only after his own gains, the teens who choose to ignore warnings - it's like a check list of cliches but thanks to the tongue in cheek acting, you know exactly what you're getting.
Of the cast, kudos have to go to Richard Dreyfuss' opening cameo which parodies his Jaws role, Christopher Lloyd for his mad marine shop owner (sample line - "This one vanished 2 million years ago") and Elisabeth Shue for keeping a straight face when those around her are being slaughtered and dismembered by fish and idiot teens alike. Admittedly, there's some pretty gross out ways that the spring breakers are dispatched which keeps the audience's blood lust in check.
A sequel's inevitable and has been green lit - so you may as well see the start of the franchise before it's culled and the fun's drained out of it.

Oh and you'll never ever be able to listen to Lakme's The Flower Duet without recalling certain moments of this film again...

Charlie Bartlett: DVD Review

Charlie Bartlett: DVD Review

Charlie Bartlett

Rating: M
Released by Roadshow Home Entertainment

Robert Downey Jr continues to be the man of the moment - his laconic turn in Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang sent him back into the stratosphere of acting and confirmed that despite his battles with his own demons, he's still a talent to watch. Indeed, his role in Iron Man cemented his stature, and in Charlie Bartlett, while he's only one of the supporting players, he simply blows everyone off the screen.

Anton Yelchin of Star Trek fame is Charlie Bartlett.

On first meeting, he's being kicked out of school for making fake IDs - and when he's signed up for another school run by Downey Jr's principal, you know their paths will cross at some point.

Particularly when he starts dating the principal's daughter.

There's sardonic humour aplenty - the film feels fresh, funny and darkly comic.
A wonderful treat.

Extras: Commentary with director and stars Yelchin and Kat Dennings make this great.

Rating: 7/10

Harry Brown: Movie Review

Harry Brown: Movie Review

Harry Brown
Rating: 7/10
Cast: Michael Caine, Emily Mortimer, Liam Cunningham, Iain Glen, Ben Drew
Director: Daniel Barber
Crikey, if this is an even remotely accurate view of life in England these days, then I'm glad I'm here.
In what's rumoured to be his acting swansong, Caine is ex serviceman Harry Brown, who lives his life on a council estate and getting by since being recently widowed.
His one real friend in life, fellow pensioner Leonard (David Bradley) drinks with Harry but confides in him one day that he's frightened and being terrorized by the estate's hoody brigade.
When the police show up on his door - in the form of Emily Mortimer's quiet and thoughtful DI Frampton - one day and tell him that Leonard's been found in a local underpass brutally murdered, Brown realizes that the fight against the lawless has come to his door.
So he decides to take his own measures to ensure the clean up of the estate begins.
Touted as the UK's answer to Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino and Charles Bronson's Death Wish, there's certainly plenty of similarities in this one man campaign for violent vengeance.
But it's thanks to Caine's studied and underplayed performance, that it's more shocking when the quiet soulless eyed pensioner Brown finally explodes into a murderous rampage.
And it's also thanks to Daniel Barber's direction, that you really can't blame him for going postal on the hooded gangs and yobs who're spreading fear around - and liberally bashing whomsoever they want. With a hand held shot opening that sees the group getting high and going on a drug fuelled rampage (which culminates in the callous shooting of a mother), there's never really any chance to offer any sympathy to these foul mouthed tykes.
Sure the message is somewhat heavy handed and the agenda somewhat liberal, but it's very hard to find yourself not rooting for Caine's Harry Brown, the vigilante pensioner who police dismiss as being behind the escalating violence. Emily Mortimer's DI Frampton is also good - with her quiet desperation at the lack of support from her superiors etched across her face. Though it has to be said she's somewhat lacking when faced opposite the towering Caine.
There's plenty of dark humour buried well within the grime and horror which unfolds on the screen; a sequence where Brown ends up buying a gun from a drug dealer is a masterclass in itching tension and uncomfortable horror; but there's also unfortunately a risible end which makes Harry Brown a slightly botched opportunity and detracts a little from what's gone before.

That said, this is Michael Caine's best performance in a while - his sad sack ex-serviceman is a simmering formidable foe for the dregs of society. But it's his moments of quiet dignity on the screen which remind you that if this really is his last role, we're losing someone monumental.

Salt: Movie Review

Salt: Movie Review

Salt
Rating: 5/10
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Director: Phillip Noyce
In the absence of any kind of new Bond film, there's always a new contender ready to step up.
This year's entry is Angelina Jolie's Salt.
Jolie is Evelyn Salt, a CIA agent whose life is turned upside down one day when, on the eve of her wedding anniversary, a Russian defector comes in from the cold and fingers her as a Russian sleeper agent.
And things go from bad to worse when Salt's accused of being the one who will kill the Russian president in America, igniting fears of Day X (a feared day when America and her allies will be attacked on all sides) coming true.
Mind you, Salt doesn't help herself by running - to try and clear her name.
Soon, everyone wants a piece of Salt - and the clock is ticking.
Salt is a thriller which doesn't thrill as much as it could. It's fine in the action stakes and kudos need to be given to those involved as the majority of the stunts are done without the use of CGI...but it's the story which has hokum written all over it.
Right - here's your warning; this is where things get a little spoilery.
If you're after a bit of a story where the plot holes are apparent but want to just put your brain in neutral, then this is the film for you.
As Salt swaps sides left right and centre, it gets a bit dizzying as you try and keep up with who she is and isn't - but it's almost as if the film makers have considered that and when she goes bad, she wears black (just like in the wild west) and when she's Russian, she wears Russian furs.
While that sounds fine, that's indicative of how the overall film is - it's not amazing and it's not terrible either - it's just ok. There's a clever idea in there about sleeper agents - and one twist did catch me unaware - but all in all, the film feels a little bit of a disappointment.
And the fact it's set up for a sequel didn't leave me wanting more (not a good sign).
The main trio of actors involved- Schreiber, Ejiofor and Jolie acquit themselves fine - they're all very dour and G man in various ways - and the whole film does take itself rather seriously. Jolie's ok when she's kicking some ass but she looks so slight that it's a hard ask to be convinced that she'd be the one to better the bad guys (or are they the good guys?).
Unfortunately Salt is lacking a little bite and tension at the end - while there are some signs those involved wanted this to be a female Bourne Identity, it doesn't quite measure up and is ultimately underwhelming.

(Although having watched Salt, I've learnt how to turn an ordinary office chair into some kind of rocket launcher - so my colleagues had best watch out...)

Dr Who S5 Vol 2: DVD Review

Dr Who S5 Vol 2: DVD Review

Doctor Who Series 5 Vol 2
Rating: PG
Released by Roadshow Entertainment
Another month, another set of Dr Who releases.
This time, in this 3 story set - Matt Smith's 11th Doctor faces off against one of the iconic monsters of the revamped show which came back in 2005 - the Weeping Angels.
And given how their creator Steven Moffat's now running the show, you wouldn't be surprised.
The main bones of this release is the two part adventure where the Doctor investigates the return of not only the Weeping Angels (those stone statues which terrified Carey Mulligan in Blink) but also the enigmatic River Song (Alex Kingston).
This two parter's packed with some suspenseful and terrifying moments - such as Karen Gillan's Amy being terrorized by an Angel in a way very similar to The Ring horror film. It's also impressive for deepening the mystique of Song and her connection to the Doctor as well as forwarding the ongoing series arc about time being forgotten.
It's also a bit lusty here and there too - with sexy flirtation being a big part of the end - and that's where third adventure, The Vampires of Venice comes in as the Doc's forced to make Amy realize how happy she is with her fiancée Rory. So he whisks them off to Venice where they end up looking into what may be vampires.
All of these episodes have a gusto and joie de vivre and are pleasant enough watching for all the family. Matt Smith once again delivers in spades and all of the supporting cast add their considerable weight to the stories.
Extras: Monster files takes a look at the creatures from these adventures - part of the ongoing basic extras package.

Rating: 7/10

The Deal: DVD Review

The Deal: DVD Review

The Deal
Rating: M
Released by Roadshow Entertainment
Seven years after it was made, this telemovie about the Tony Blair/ Gordon Brown friendship and power struggle is released.
Touted as the Prequel to the Queen (which is a little odd to say the least), Michael Sheen once again dusts his off smile and polishes his teeth to play UK Prime Minister Tony Blair.
It's set in 1980s Britain, which is in the vice like grip of Thatcher's reign and tells of how David Morrissey's Gordon Brown met with Blair - forced into sharing an office in London, the pair become friends (initially under duress) over policy and a life in opposition.
But the times, they are a changin' with the wind of change blowing through the corridors of power - and the politics of ambition begin to force the pair apart.
Stephen Frears done an admirable job pulling this together - with the use of archive news footage from the time which has Morrissey and Sheen cut into, as well as footage from political rallies, it does well to evoke the times of Tory Britain.
Sheen's reliably good as Blair once again - and David Morrissey's portrayal of the gruff intensely private Gordon Brown is a real revelation.
It's interesting to see how the pair grew apart and how Brown's decision to bide his time cost him his real chance to lead Labour to victory.
And yet, as a movie for the masses, this is sadly lacking. There's much to admire in this telemovie if you're a) an English ex-pat or b) a politics student.
But I'm afraid, outside of those two parameters, many will pass this by in favour of more blockbuster fare.
Extras: None

Rating: 6/10

Solitary Man: DVD Review

Solitary Man: DVD Review

Solitary Man
Released by Roadshow Entertainment
Rating: M
Michael Douglas once again reprises his rogueish cad act for his part as Ben Kalman, a New Yorker who's had it all - and blown it.
Once a car dealership owner, this ladies man has destroyed his life through bad choices - but appears to be in the throes of pulling it back again.
He's now with Jordan (Mary Louise Parker) and using her connections in the car world to help get himself back on his feet.
And Ben's also agreed to try and help Jordan's daughter get back into his former Uni - by taking her to the interview.
However, a leopard can never change his spots and after a night of guilty pleasure, Ben's about to lose it all again.
Solitary Man is an average sort of film - it gets by on the fact that Douglas rolls out his well worn schtick as that caddish charmer (which we're likely to see again in Wall Street 2) and some solid performances from the supporting cast (Susan Sarandon, Jesse Eisenberg, Danny DeVito).
But overall, it's a little plodding and hard to root for a guy who keeps screwing it up - even when it's played so well by Douglas.
Extras: None

Rating: 5/10