Strippers vs Werewolves: DVD Review

Strippers vs Werewolves: DVD Review

Rating: M
Released by Vendetta Films

In quite possibly the most revealing title of the year (in more ways than one), this film pits, erm, strippers against werewolves when one of the wolfy kind is accidentally killed in a strip club in London.

To make matters worse, the girls who work there have until the next full moon before his bloodthirsty wolfpack seek murderous retribution.

Throw in the appearance of a couple of vampires too and it's clear that this low budget Brit horror is aiming for ticking all the boxes of the genre.

This is possibly one of the worst films I've ever seen - it tries to take itself seriously which is a major crime given that the make up for the werewolves is quite the laziest prosthetics I've witnessed.

Throw in some wooden acting from a bunch of former Brit soap stars as well as plenty of pole dancing and I reckon the directors must have been high on something to have even committed this to celluloid in the first place.

Even a cameo from horrormeister Robert Englund doesn't add anything to the experience.

Cheap and nasty and not even bad enough to fall into the so bad it's good category, this film shows when British cinema gets it wrong, it does so disastrously.

Rating:

Cat Run: DVD Review

Cat Run DVD Review

Rating: M
Released by Vendetta Films

When two childhood friends, Anthony and Julien give up on their childhood dreams to start a detective agency, they find their first case throwing them in deeper than they could ever have imagined.

Their first investigation is into high class escort and mother Cat (Paz Vega) who's stolen a hard drive implicating a government minister in the death of a hooker.

When Cat goes on the run, she's pursued with deadly intentions by assassin Helen (Janet McTeer) - and into the middle of this cat and mouse game are thrown Anthony and Julien....

Cat Run is a flashy, stylish, highly violent thriller in places which while lacking a great deal of originality is watchable enough thanks to Paz Vega and Janet McTeer who give their all to the role. McTeer, who I've only ever seen doing more, shall we say, intelligent fare than this is aiming to be. While it tries to rip off the gangster stylings of Guy Ritchie in terms of look and feel, it doesn't have the deftness of touch to quite carry it off.

With drippings of occasional humour, salacious nudity to start off with, a bit of tongue in cheek here and there and some quite graphic violence, it's a queasy mix which doesn't quite hit all the right buttons and ends up being neither fish nor fowl.

Extras: Behind the scenes, deleted scenes.

Rating:

House of Pleasure: DVD Review

House of Pleasure: DVD Review

Rating: M
Released by Vendetta Films

A French drama film set at the turn of the 19th Century and set in a Parisian bordello - I imagine some of you  have already formed your own opinion of what this film could be about.

The film follows the women who work in the bordello and their clients as well as how they feel they will cope with the coming century and what it may bring. There's also an undercurrent of nastiness too as one woman's been mutilated (think Joker in Dark knight to get an idea) by one of her clients.

It's a sumptuously put together film which looks beautiful in terms of costume although it is to be honest, a little slow going as it meanders over the two hours running time. It's not a salacious film either - sure, the women don't look bad at all but a lot of the film is about sexual diseases which they're prone to and talk of money let alone any kind of sleazy shenanigans. Throw into the mix, a fifteen year old girl who wants to be a part of this life and you're left with an uneasy mix of social commentary and lounging around.

Occasionally, it's like looking at an art book from the time, reflecting on people and pastiches of life rather than specifically anything major happening. Sure, there's a sisterhood running through and a support network but after about 70 minutes, the lack of real pace becomes a problem and the film starts to feel like it's not going anywhere fast, any time soon.

Period drama it may be and while it's brilliantly recreated, you can't help but wish the relative lethargy would let up and some more drama kick in.

Rating:

New TED featurette brings the naughty

New TED  Restricted featurette brings the naughty and the filth..

It's out in a couple of weeks but now a little featurette that's on the funny and filthy side has brought out a little more of the plot of TED, the upcoming flick from Seth "Family Guy" MacFarlane, Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis.

This is a little risque but based on this, TED will be a raucous night out at the movies - just don't bring a prudish mate.

Ted hits cinemas in NZ on July 11th. In a bad way and based on this, I actually can't wait.

A Royal Affair: Movie Review

A Royal Affair: Movie Review

Cast: Mads Mikkelsen, Alicia Vikander, Mikkel Folsgaard
Director: Nikolaj Arcel

Mads Mikkelsen continues his rise to cinematic glory in this sumptuous period piece set in Denmark in 1766.

It's a turbulent time in Denmark, with the masses oppressed and downtrodden by a King who's mad and politically ineffectual, there's scant hope for those who pursue the ideals of the Enlightenment movement.

But when new Queen Caroline Mathilde (an entrancing Vikander) comes to join her husband from England, Mikkelsen's recently appointed royal physician Johann Struensee starts to fall in love with her.

Their dangerous liaison leads to love and the chance for Denmark to change as Struensee begins to exert his Enlightenment beliefs both on the Queen and on a willing King.

However, not everything in this love story ends happily as the consequences of Struensee's actions begin to play out.

A Royal Affair is a slightly over-long look at dramatic events in Denmark which shaped a nation and played a part in the formation of European history.

Gorgeously costumed and stunningly shot, it's an intelligent period piece which screams lounge back in your seat and wallow away but it does take a little while to get going and become engrossing.

Mikkelsen and Vikander are perfectly cast as the physician and the royal who're engulfed in the passion of the romance and the burning desire for change for their oppressed nation. Folsgaard is also solid as the mad King who flounces around whoring and being weak and ineffectual (even if he does remind you a little of Hugh Laurie's King from Blackadder).

The drama is powerful in this piece and while it may take a while to grip you as the slow burn kicks in, be aware that the (somewhat abrupt) ending may resonate more with you than you first realise.

Overall, A Royal Affair is a strong piece of historical film making; it offers light into a period many will be unaware of and thanks to strong acting, it's a striking celluloid outing for one of Denmark's most difficult periods.

Rating:

First full Dredd trailer is here

First full Dredd trailer is here

Finally, it's the moment fans of Judge Dredd and 2000AD have been waiting for...

The Judge Dredd trailer is here...

The first full trailer for Dredd which hits NZ cinemas in October and stars our very own Kiwi Karl Urban, and is of course based on the iconic Brit comic 2000AD.

The trailer's leaked a little early online so take a look here...and am I alone in thinking it's a sci fi version of The Raid?? Although to be fair, the Dredd film was written and filmed before the Raid Redemption was released....

This is the official version of Machinima's debut - all other versions are being pulled down due to copyright laws from Lionsgate.

Brand new Breaking Dawn Part 2 trailer released

Brand new Breaking Dawn Part 2 trailer released

Fans wait no longer - the trailer for The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 has been released...