Vampire Academy: Movie Review

Vampire Academy: Movie Review

Cast: Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, Gabriel Byrne, Olga Kurylenko, Sarah Hyland
Director: Mark Waters

From the young adult novels, and with more of the undead in tow, here comes the latest in the vamp line of movie making.

Mixing Harry Potter's Hogwarts with vampirism and throwing in a brew of romance, it's the story of the Moroi, and the Strigoi, both lines of vampires and both (im)mortal enemies. The two will never see eye to eye and caught right in the middle of it is Dhampir (a half vampire and half human mix) Rose Hathaway (Zoey Deutch). Her job is to protect the Moroi princess Lissa Dragomir (Fry) whatever the cost.

To that end, the pair has been living in the human world for a couple of years; however, they're tracked down and dragged back to a fate worse than death - St Vladmir's Academy...

Thrown back into the horrors of classes, jealousy, and boys, the pair find their lives in danger when strange things happen on the campus and the Strigoi are suspected of being behind it all....

Vampire Academy is a strangely un-intoxicating hybrid mess of a film.

Part Harry Potter, part romance, part tongue in cheek silliness, part Buffy-style quipping (but without the smarts) and all insanity, it's one of the weirdest hot messes of a film that's appeared in a while, thanks to its wild mix of tone.

While a feisty Deutch does well with her wannabe Buffy / Faith style role, the writing doesn't quite help, with quip after quip flying and hardly many hitting their targets at all. There's an attempt to throw a Mean Girls / high school vibe into the mix, but there are so many elements within already that it just feels overcooked. The start is almost hamstrung by an overuse of exposition via voiceover and writing flying over the screen that it all seems a little too much, a supernatural pudding that's been over-egged with many elements of the genres that have already passed.

The more established names of the cast - Olga Kurylenko and Gabriel Byrne - simply chew the scenery and don't seem to want to know what to do with their underwritten parts. Along with cheesy action sequences and cornball dialogue, it's hard to see whether tweens will go for this given that it's neither fish nor fowl - choosing to shy away from too much self-knowing and parody while mixing in some of the seriousness, Vampire Academy doesn't raise any stakes in the vampire genre.

In fact, if anything, this coffin should be sealed shut for eternity before any more of the six books make it onto the big screen. Terrible CGI for some hellhounds simply show that the stretch of imagination didn't go far in this cinematic outing.

Quite simply, Vampire Academy bites.

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3 Mile Limit: Movie Review

3 Mile Limit: Movie Review

Cast: Matt Whelan, Mia Koning
Director: Craig Newland

So, the first of two Radio Hauraki films gets the early sprint on the release front as the iconic New Zealand station gears up for its 50th anniversary.

Go Girls star Matt Whelan is Richard Davis, a man whose dream has always been to have a radio station and broadcast rock music to the masses in a New Zealand where stiff upper lips goes hand in hand with stuffy chamber music.

But the government of the time is not keen on granting them a broadcasting licence and so the battle lines between the pioneers of the new guard and the stuffy establishment are drawn.

However, Davis has a plan to ensure rock'n'roll lives - along with his techie pal Morrie, these radio pirates decide to head out into the waters of Auckland's Hauraki Gulf and broadcast from within a boat, the Tiri, in an area that's just in international waters, and which keeps them out of the long arm of the law - the 3 Mile Limit of the title...and in Davis' words, "Where we're going, we don't need  a licence..."

3 Mile Limit is a bit of a damp squib to be frank.

Whereas The Boat That Rocked captured the anarchy and hedonistic vibe of the 60s and the taking on of the man, this David vs Goliath story has none of that. Instead, among the wonderful recreations of the era (all drab browns, and excellent use of technology from the time), there's a fairly straight laced story that's more suited for a small screen rather than a big screen outing.

A lack of real characterisation proves to be the fatal stumbling block for this piece - and the other problem is pacing; the story starts off with a gripping scene as the boat looks to be going under and Davis issues a mayday call before cutting back to one year earlier. But, after that, the origin story becomes staid and stodgy, before hitting a lull about 40 minutes in that grounds it in dry dock for the rest of its duration.

Whelan is affable enough as Davis - yet he is the only one who gets enough of an outline to give you something to invest in. He has a struggle at home with an arty wife, who's never quite sold enough paintings, the debt collectors are permanently at his door and there's a real pluck to this underdog. Unfortunately, the rest of his on-screen cohorts don't get as much more than a cursory once over lightly - and it's so distracting that the supporting cast are so neglected that when one of their fates is sealed, you really don't care.

Along with cliched shots (every time Davis delivers an inspirational speech, the camera tracks slowly along as the music swells underneath), there's just the feeling that this story could have been more than a plodding tale. Where's the pluck, the heart, even the passion for it as the good guys take on the archetypal bad guy of the government to get the people what they want....?

The final fatal flaw is that the film changes the names of the characters and some of the events - in a film which claims to be the origin of an icon of New Zealand's airwaves, it's going to potentially rankle those who were involved from the beginning. (Even though the producers have said those who were involved approve of the final film)

Ultimately and unfortunately, 3 Mile Limit is less The Boat That Rocked, more The Boat That Wobbled.

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300: Rise of an Empire: Movie Review

300: Rise of an Empire: Movie Review

Cast: Eva Green, Lena Headey, Sullivan Stapleton, Flashes of Gerard Butler, Rodrigo Santoro
Director: Noam Murro

This! Is! Sparta! (Again)

It's one of the iconic phrases from cinema over the past decade - and instantly calls to mind a six-packed Gerard Butler unleashing all kinds of hell in the 2007 movie, 300.

So it was inevitable that a sequel would make its way to the movies - and here is said sequel.

Starring Sullivan Stapleton as Greek general Themistokles, it's the story of the charge against the invading Persian forces as the Greeks try to unite and stop demi-god Xerxes (Santoro) and Artemisia (Eva Green) the leader of the Persian navy.

And that's about it for plot...

Based on a graphic novel, this Zack Snyder-influenced hollow blockbuster spectacle offers everything you'd seen in the first 300 movie and more of the same. More gore, more nudity (step forward a topless Eva Green wielding a sword), more slow-mo than you can shake a stick at and more visceral thrills that fall short of any kind of character growth.

During the hyper-stylised fighting, each slash unleashes a volcano of blood splatters as hordes of buffed up men shout on the battle fields - but it proffers up nothing more than an empty vessel, lacking in the kind of iconic moments the first film had.

Part of the problem with 300: Rise of an Empire is due to the writing of Themistokles - delivering serious speeches about turning young men into memories before trying to stir the troops into action once again doesn't provide a well-sketched out hero and certainly doesn't go anywhere near making him into the icon that Gerard Butler's Leonidas became. Stapleton tries as best as he can in amid his earnestness but he pales on the screen in comparison to the original Scot's presence.

Likewise, while Eva Green's Artemisia borders on the pantomime dame, she still manages more of a screen presence as her cold-hearted bitch sneers and eviscerates her way through hordes of Greeks. A powerplay sex scene is so over the top that it's more laughable than erotic and is deeply suited to the graphic novel pages and genre than on the big screen. Headey barely registers as Queen Gorgo, serving to deliver portentous pompous narrative that has no hint of self-parody in among the ludicrous seriousness of it all.

Similarly, director Murro's over-reliance on slow mo shots becomes tiring and uninspired as the soulless swords and sandals wannabe epic carries on. Granted, a few of the scenes really bring the epic and use the green screen to brutally magnificent life - a scene of Xerxes towering over his army is breathless with scale - but there's never really a moment in among the action that screens originality in among the never-ending battle scenes.

300: Rise Of An Empire may satiate those teen boys with a blood lust, but there's nothing to engage with among the big screen carnage - and there's certainly nothing to match the influence that 300 exerted over the cinematic world.

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Game of Thrones Season 3: Blu Ray Review

Game of Thrones Season 3: Blu Ray Review

Rating: M
Released by Warner Home Video

A third season of the massive HBO hit Game of Thrones is a thing to be treasured.

This latest has now gained infamy because of the Red Wedding, but there's a little more to the season than one of the most epic surprises on TV since Ned Stark was beheaded in the penultimate episode of season one.

Set on the Lannisters in Kings' Landing and after the battle of the Blackwater, there's plenty of political intrigue. Elsewhere, Daenys Targaryen continues her quest to reclaim the seven kingdoms - with the help of some dragons too...

The biggest shocks of Game of Thrones Season 3 come as the house of Stark seems to hit major bumps in their quests for power. It's interesting that George R R Martin has had you invest in characters whose fates are unpredictable, (outside of the book reading of course) and whose lives are so well realised by the actors and the production values of the series.

While the episodes are pretty damn good, the best bit about the Blu Ray is once again the extras.From in episode guides to the characters, to profiles this is a set that shows some love to the fans who have rewarded their 30 hours plus in the past 3 seasons. Packed with extra content, the Blu Ray is worth the investment of time and is a rewarding and enriching experience for anyone who's been sucked in to the worlds of Westeros.

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The Last of Us: Left Behind: PS3 Review

The Last of Us: Left Behind: PS3 Review

Platform: PS3
Released by Naughty Dog

So, The Last of Us, one of the absolute best games of last year, gets a DLC that proves almost as good as the original story.

Centring around Ellie and running as a side story to the original, it follows Ellie after she's forced to leave Joel when he's critically wounded at the end of the autumn section of the main story. Interspersed with Ellie's hunt for medication for Joel are a series of playable flashbacks as Ellie relives her time with a friend Riley, 3 weeks before the main story.

The Last of Us: Left Behind is an essential addition to the canon and proof of more sterling work from the Naughty Dog team.

They've managed to pull together something which is deeply enriching and which works again at scaring you stupid, even though you know what to expect from the Clickers and the environments around. And yet, with graphics that are totally impressive, there's something almost atmospheric about what's been pulled together. As snow gently rains down on Ellie and her surroundings, there's some real beauty at work - and as Riley and Ellie explore a Hallowe'en clothes shop, there are a few spooks and scares of the old school variety to be had.

Yet, among all the expansion of the world that Naughty Dog created, there's no drop in quality of the writing of the overall story. Great care is thrown into the back story, so much so, that when it reaches its end, you'll be breathless with sadness and swept up in the poignancy on show. I won't ruin it with spoilers, but the bittersweet feelings when it ends are proof of your investment in this world.

It would be a real shame if The Last Of Us never garnered a sequel - as the DLC demonstrates, there's a great deal more to be explored within it. And clearly, the writing continues to be of an exceptionally high quality so there are many more avenues to explore. But what Naughty Dog has shown once again in this outing, is that character and story are king. There's no way you'd be as invested in this as much were it not for the fact that those involved have imbued Ellie with a sadness, a depth of character and a story arc that's as compelling as it is rewarding.

It's best to experience the Last of Us: Left Behind without spoilers - much like the main story - but do yourself a favour, ensure that you do give it a go. There's no better piece of DLC on show and I hope The Last Of Us 2 or more DLC is on its way, because this is not a world I'm ready to leave behind yet.

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Pac Man Museum: PS3 Review

Pac-Man Museum: PS3 Review

Platform: PS3
Released by Namco Bandai Games

Ah, Pac-Man.

Instantly iconic and totally recognisable in arcades everywhere, this game has been around for a very long time - in fact, almost 34 years. So, to celebrate that fact, Namco Bandai Games has just released the Pac- Man Museum, a 10 strong collection of a lot of the old yellow chomping creature and his ongoing battle against the ghosts.

Ported over to the PS3, (and also PC and Xbox) some of these games are as playable as ever - and others are slightly head scratching.

Obviously, the original is there (how could you not?) and remains as eminently addictive as it always was - there are no bells and whistles with this one. Simply work your way around the maze, eat the dots and avoid the ghosts or take them out when you've quaffed a power pill.

In terms of the transition to PS3, the games are presented in less than full screen glory (and I've not been able to find an option to make it so) but look like an iPad on a big screen or an arcade game on whatever TV you use. With a giant Pac-Man on the side, this works as it's simply an arcade game set up in many ways (but without the debilitating loss of coins to your finances)

Also greatly playable is Pac-Man Championship Edition wherein you have to chomp your way through the maze, getting as many points as you can and surviving within the set time frame. This is great fun, with a slightly grittier edge to the graphics and a general feeling of more beefiness.It's a fine companion to the original and one which lends itself to good entertaining gaming fun as the clock counts down.

Other Pac-Man games don't fare as well - and it's nothing to do with the quality of the game's graphics (which are exactly as they were on release), more due to their concepts and execution. Pac Land, a kind of Super Mario mash up cum 2D Pac platformer, doesn't really hit the mark and occasionally glitches as it side-scrolls. It's the one which really stands out in the museum format.

And if you're looking for Ms Pac-Man, you'll be racing against the clock. This is around as a free download until the end of March, so if you really want to be a completist, you'd best hurry - unless you're willing to fork out cash again for the Pac creature.

Pac-Man Battle Royale is available for the first time in any format - and is a weird hybrid of Pac-Man, multiplayer and a battle between Pac-Men as you face off against each other. Upto 4 can take part and it's good fun.

Aside from the gaming, there's little of the Pac-Man history on show other than collecting stickers which are unlocked after each game and then placed into the Pac-Room for viewing pleasure. It's not much additional but with 10 Pac-Man games on show, I think the developers wanted the product to speak for itself.

All in all, Pac-Man Museum (while missing a few other games) is a great nostalgic piece - it proves that despite 34 years of age the original game is still a real high flier in the pop culture stakes. And while not all of its predecessors had the same effect, with 10 games to play, there are plenty of options to keep you entertained as we head into the winter months.

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Dead Rising 3: Operation Broken Eagle: XBox One Review

Dead Rising 3: Operation Broken Eagle: XBox One Review

Platform: XBox One

Dead Rising 3 was one of the launch titles for the XBox One when it was fired off the shelves last year.

A great addition to the zombie genre, the next gen elements added a fair bit in terms of filling up the screen with the undead and not creaking as it did so. But it also hinted at a world beyond the main protagonist - and this is what's explored in the first DLC for the title.

Set around Los Perdidos, you play Adam Kane, a guy who's tasked with a rather momentous mission. But there's also a twist, he appears to be working for the bad guys who you've tried to avoid in the main game. This is a nice touch to the DLC - it allows the story to be told from another angle and gives you a reason to invest in it, rather than simply retread the usual steps that have already been played.

(And it's good that there's another reason to play too - as this is no tiny download with a whopping 13GB being needed to be sucked down into the XBox One.)

Kane's military which means you get to have access to some of the hardware the military use too - and sharing the same map and collectibles you garnered in the main game gives it an edge at times, meaning you don't have to churn through all the usual power ups that are needed, meaning you can simply get on with the game in hand.

With no multiplayer, it's a fairly straight forward piece, but to be honest, if you liked the survival element of the main game of Dead Rising 3, then you're going to enjoy this. It's a rather brief excursion to the main world but worth taking if you're already invested in it all.

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