Baywatch: Blu Ray Review

Baywatch: Blu Ray Review

First CHIPS, now Baywatch.

The Hollywood drive to remake cult TV favourites that are more fondly remembered in the haze of nostalgia than for plots, acting and storylines depressingly continues to be a Hollywood trend.

After the utterly irredeemable CHIPS earlier this year, and with the success of the smartly funny 21 Jump Street seeming a long way in the past, Baywatch, with its boobs, bros, boners and beaches ethos tries to inject a bit of fun into the US Summer blockbuster season.

But it fails utterly and miserably, doling out a laugh-free film that drags in its 2 hour run time.

Whereas the TV series was purely a combination of cheesy guilty pleasure and slow-mo running / bouncing boobs, this update centres around a bro-comedy that's lacking in laughs.
Man mountain Dwayne Johnson stars as Mitch Buchannon, the head lifeguard of Baywatch. When he discovers drugs washing up on his shore, he suspects local property magnate (and not Bond villain yet) Victoria Leeds (Bollywood star Priyanka Chopra) is behind it.

With a new batch of recruits, including Zac Efron's disgraced selfish former Gold athlete Matt Brody, Mitch and the team try to save the Bay.

So far, so generic rip-off of 21 Jump Street.

But whereas 21 Jump Street had a meta-touch and some solid comedy scripting, all Baywatch has going for it is bronzed bodies and a barrage of insults fired at Brody from Johnson's alpha-bro.
Women exist either to be ogled at (step forward Rohrbach) or provide wide-eyed reaction shots (hello, Daddario) to the antics and squabbling of Brody and Buchannon.

Largely, Johnson's charisma and easy-going lighter touch has saved fare such as this in the past, but this time, with a muddled script that doesn't know if it's crime caper or comedy to negotiate, not even his mega-watt smile and muscled up physique can save the day.
Chopra chews the scenery as a villainess, but her blander character lacks the claws to take the guys on, though that's squarely the fault of the writers, rather than of Chopra's work.

It doesn't help that the obvious arc of the self-loathing pity-fest Brody (courtesy of a buffed-up to the max Efron) that manifests itself as a spoiled brat who secretly does want to be part of a team or Bass' tubby tech guy all feel incredibly familiar and underwritten, lending a feeling to Baywatch that it really has nothing to say for its audience - unless they're liquored up to the max.
There's no edginess in Baywatch and some lines feel mean-spirited rather than pushing the envelope.

Ultimately, when the cameos come, the film's got nothing to say or do with them.

And despite everything that Johnson throws at it, this Baywatch remake, quite frankly, deserves to be lost at sea. This version of Baywatch is the worst day out at the beach ever. 

mother! Film Review

mother! Film Review

Cast: Jennifer Lawrence, Javier Bardem, Ed Harris, Michelle Pfeiffer
Director: Darren Aronofsky

Is it a film about the art of creation?

Is it a film about subjugation?
Is it a film about the relationship between men and women and the give and take of marriage?

Is it a commentary on how ideas infiltrate and inveigle when least expected?

Is it a film that's completely out there and likely to polarise audiences and provoke debate?

Well, in short, Darren Aronofsky's psychological jolter Mother! is all of those and a lot more besides, making this 2 hour descent into madness more than simply the craziest episode of Grand Designs ever seen.

Dripping in symbolism, and open to plenty of interpretation, mother! stars Jennifer Lawrence as a nameless woman, who lives with Javier Bardem's nameless man, who happens to be a poet.
Lawrence's character has been spending time rebuilding the house where they live after a fire gutted it, and her husband has been spending time grappling with writers' block, unable to birth any kind of writing.

While the duo appear happy in their various ways, the world is shattered when Ed Harris's character shows up on their doorstep without warning, believing the house to be a B&B. Invited in by the poet, but most unwelcome by Lawrence's character, Harris' man makes for an odd guest, striking a relationship with the poet that feels exclusive to Lawrence's woman.
Things are further exacerbated when his wife shows up (Michelle Pfeiffer) and her intrusive questions cause Lawrence's suspicions to rise.

And it's there that mother! descends into something both bizarre and insane.

Best viewed without prior indication of what occurs, Aronofsky's mother! will be all things to all manner of people.

To creatives, it will be the aforementioned visualisation of the birthing of an idea and as the roles of the cast start to become apparent, that allegory makes for easier understanding than what actually transpires.

Using extreme close ups for Lawrence's character alone and reserving wider shots for everyone else, Aronofsky spends the entire film depriving her of full length shots (save for the beginning) and by doing so, starts to build the deck of paranoia and claustrophobia to manic effect. It helps greatly that there's little incidental music in the film, with the sounds of the house, various other noises and atmospherics helping create a soundscape that's as breathtaking as it is unnerving.

Much like Black Swan, though perhaps through a more opaque prism, Aronofsky loads the dice with mother!

There seems to be a lot going on in mother! though admittedly, it's never much below the surface, which is maybe why the unorthodox journey is provoking so much debate elsewhere.

There will be some that will dismiss the pretensions of mother! and while Aronofsky veers dangerously close to indulging during the 2 hour run time, for those willing to submit to the path taken, it's a richly rewarding ride that sparks as much in the cognition of the viewers as it will spew bile in its haters.

Lawrence is very good in the descent down; with her character gradually becoming unhinged and confused but understandably so thanks to the way she feels and with Lawrence's expressive turn, the mania is universally understandable and curiously universal.

Furthermore, Bardem's egotistical poet starts off sensitively before becoming blinded by his own belief and self-delusion; it's hard to see how this couple could be together initially, but as the pieces fall into as much place as they're ever going to when directed by Aronofsky whose MO is other's mania, there's a lot to unpack.

Much like Twin Peaks: The Return refused to pander to narrative conventions and interpretations, Aronofksy's assault on the senses is vehemently original, marginally indulgent and weirdly rewarding.

Ignore the belief that this is a "woman goes mad in house" as that will set you wrong; it may be many viewpoints on societal issues and wildly open to differing theories, but mother! is nothing short of the kind of film that channels both Polanski and Lynch's sensibilities in about as broad a way as is compellingly possible.

You may not see anything like mother! on the big screen this year - and while it looks destined for moderate commercial success at best, Aronsofky's to be saluted for being a wide berth to birth the most bizarre film of the year.

Chicken People: Film Review

Chicken People: Film Review

Director: Nicole Lucas Haimes

Chicken People may have been filmed prior to NZ poultry effort Pecking Order, but thanks to them both hatching in NZ cinemas this year, comparisons are inevitable.

Whereas Pecking Order concentrated on the bitter henpecking of the political shenanigans of the Christchurch Poultry Club, Chicken People is a much tamer affair, though one which still proves bird is the word.

Centring on three fanciers and their love of their little cluckers, the American documentary looks perfectly fine and is beautifully shot, but fails to deliver the personality of Slavko Martinov's effort.

Wonderfully shot with some pristine images of the birds in question, along with some eye-catching and well dispatched graphics, Chicken People offers pleasantries over real personality.

There's Brian, the bearded Luke Perry lookalike whose permanent singing to his animals shows his showbiz desires; there's Brian Knox, an older guy whose breeding of the birds is meticulously calculated and there's Shari, a mid-American mom who maybe broods more over the chooks than the kids, but whose heart is in the right place.Haimes's doco is perfectly pedestrian and well-hatched and dispatched, but in the year Pecking Order exposed a seedy political underbelly, this just doesn't stack up to the standard.

Seeing them all live by the chicken Bible, The Standards of Perfection and their desire to create a bird like it gives good life to the talking heads and provides some insights like: "Instead of reading my novel, I get out my chicken standard."

There's a lack of political subterfuge and more of an emphasis on the people, meaning that it's perfect for the uninitiated and isn't too long to overstay its welcome but it is bizarrely tame and lacking anything that truly fowls up its execution.

You won't come away from Chicken People feeling short-changes but you won't leave feeling like your feathers have been ruffled either.

FIFA 18 Demo Launches Today for Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC

FIFA 18 Demo Launches Today for Xbox One, PlayStation 4 and PC

Today, EA SPORTS launched the FIFA 18 demo on Xbox One, PS4 and PC.

In the demo, fans can choose from 12 world-class clubs including Manchester United, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich, Manchester City, PSG and more and experience new FIFA 18 gameplay innovations in Kick Off Mode including: 

• Real Player Motion Technology – a ground breaking animation system that creates a new level of realistic, responsive, and fluid gameplay
• Player Personalities – gives some of the biggest stars in the world the distinct traits of their real-world counterparts
• Team Styles – enables players to mimic their favourite clubs’ on-field tactics

Additionally, fans can get a taste of the immersive atmospheres FIFA 18 brings to iconic stadiums like Santiago Bernabeu (Madrid), StubHub Center (LA), La Bombonera (Buenos Aires) and King Fahd Stadium (Saudi Arabia), plus have the chance to preview the highly anticipated The Journey: Hunter Returns.

For more details, check out this article covering everything the demo has to offer and the website to download.

To stay updated on the latest FIFA 18 news, visit the EA SPORTS FIFA website and be sure to follow the official EA SPORTS FIFA social channels (Twitter, FB, Instagram).

Spookers: Film Review

Spookers: Film Review

Director: Florian Habicht

Kiwi director Florian Habicht is a habitual film fest offender.

His latest doco takes a look at the New Zealand institute of Spookers, a fright fest themed attraction based at the old Kingseat psychiatric hospital.

Andy and Beth Watson run the park and have set about making sure its cast of horrifying workers have a good solid workplace, as well as ensuring that visitors to the place get scared enough to deliver their own Code Browns.

It's into this world that Habicht and his non-intrusive camera and soft questioning approach head in - and what emerges from Spookers, in its first half, is a film that captures the quirk of Kiwis and the heart and soul of those who live there. Whether it's asking a zombie bride if they go to the supermarket wearing the outfit or revealing a depth to one woman who works in insurance and who channels her frustration into the scares, Habicht has an eye for ensuring there's as much heart as there is offbeat material in the film for us all to latch onto.

But it's in the back half of Spookers that it feels a little like Florian's lost his way.

Relying increasingly on more performance art pieces which feel fresh and enticing early on,  than any kind of ongoing narrative, it feels like Spookers becomes a touch repetitive and lacking in anything new to say, other than to compound its previous speakers who talk of their connection to one another.

That's not to deny the power of those stories - and while Beth and Andy seem grounded, the range of their workforce appear to have a whole heap of issues that they have to contend with. From mental health to actual health issues, the sense of community behind the make up is pervasive in Spookers and deserves to be applauded.

More interestingly the former patient and nurse of the hospital get to deliver their views on how the attraction is now, providing a contrast in perception and an ideological conflict with then and now. Habicht allows his speakers the time and space to breathe thought into these beliefs and is also smart enough to not belittle anyone in his film.

There's no denying that Spookers is an essential piece of Kiwiana and a quirky celebration of the power of family, both adopted and parental, but if the back half's structure were a little tighter and perhaps the journey a little more strongly plotted, Spookers could have risen a bit more strongly to the top. 

Table 19: DVD Review

Table 19: DVD Review

Stretching it as thinly as its premise will allow, Table 19 invites you to a bittersweet tale that has elements of Tales of The Unexpected.

Centring around Anna Kendrick's Eloise, who's invited to a wedding and finds herself at the aforementioned Table 19 with a group of randoms, this bittersweet sitcom-cum-drama has the trappings of something solid.

Dumped as maid of honour and now a guest at the table that's closer to the bathrooms than the bridal party, Eloise regrets attending.
But as the group begins to question each other, they find a common bond as the night goes on.

With an instantly recognisable and relatable premise (After all, who hasn't dreaded the seating arrangements of a wedding and the necessity to make endless small talk?), Blitz's film trades on the awkwardness and unease of randoms at a table with fine gusto at the start.Throwing in some sitcom elements and some more farcical edges, the majority of the heavy lifting is left to Stephen Merchant's usual deadpan delivery, gangliness and odd-looks and Kendrick's sweetly downbeat affability to convey the tone.

But once the "action" moves away from the table and the group re-locate from the wedding itself, the narrative loses a little of its steam and the uneven edges of the tone come to the fore.

Whilst there are some bittersweet truth bombs dropped throughout (largely courtesy of Lisa Kudrow and Craig Robinson, who play a bickering married couple) and some recurring gags, the pay-off for portions of Table 19 don't feel earned.

Primarily for Kendrick's character Eloise, the revelations, at times, feel a little obvious and with conclusions that can be seen from a mile off. And while there's a universality to parts of what transpires that the Duplass brothers, along with Blitz, have tapped into, there's simply a feeling that a lot of it has been saved from some great one-liners throughout.

The film can't resist a happy ending and it's here that perhaps the realities of life and authenticities of the issues raised through the film feel slightly betrayed. Life isn't always so easily resolved, but Table 19, having thrown up all the idiosyncracies of relationships for examination, neatly folds them back together at the end and serves up something as sickly sweet as a third piece of wedding cake.

While it's just a pinch under 90 minutes long, and quite bearable, it's a shame that Table 19 betrays its initial focus and premise for something that feels predictable and unnecessarily overly saccharine and sentimental.

Victoria and Abdul: Film Review

Victoria and Abdul: Film Review

Cast: Judi Dench, Ali Fazal, Eddie Izzard, Olivia Williams, Adeel Akhtar, Tim Piggott-Smith
Director: Stephen Frears

You've seen Victoria and Abdul before.

Not just in the fact that it's the usual, unchallenging Brit BBC Films crowd-pleasing fare put out to soothe the masses, but also because it's 20 years since Mrs Brown was released.

In that film, Billy Connolly shared an unconventional friendship with Judi Dench's Queen Victoria after the death of her husband.

This time, 2 decades on, substitute Brown for an unassuming, twinkle-in-his-eye Indian servant called Abdul, who breaks the rules when looking the Queen in her eyes during his act of state-sponsored supplication.

Enamoured with the daring nature of his action and what she sees as a kindred defiance to being trapped in societal expectations, Victoria makes Abdul a confidant. That's much to the chagrin of the household and the generally blustered (and slightly racist) echelons of government as embodied by Michael Gambon's prime minister and Eddie Izzard's haughty and belligerent prince Bertie.

But defying convention, Victoria grows closer to Abdul as the rift threatens to tear apart the Royal Household.

It's not that Victoria and Abdul is a clanger by any means.

It's simply that it's all so familiar and so incredibly formulaic in its desire to not challenge audiences that it becomes increasingly bland in its execution as it heads into its tear-jerking final section.

While Fazal's initial boundless enthusiasm and naïveté gives Abdul a feeling of once-over-lightly and makes the household members united in their anger feel more caricature than character, Dench's dive deeper below the surface for Victoria marks her turn out from the oh-so-familiar fare of the film.

Whether it's speeding through a state meal to get away from insufferable strangulations of reigning or softly revealing her anguish that others die while she just goes on, Dench's heart and subtleties of performance bring life where elsewhere there is nothing but mawkish predictability and borderline unoriginality.

There's solid support in the wings though.

Notably from the much underrated and slightly cliched use of the brilliant Akhtar (Utopia) whose comic timing and well-worn use of a weary eyebrow is deftly exercised, but who becomes sadly more sidelined as the film goes on.

Equally Izzard gives good exasperated as Bertie, the man who would be king were it not for the stubbornness of his mother.

Victoria and Abdul is one for the twin-set older generation, who pander to the whims of the easier film-going fare. 

It's a prestige picture, make no mistake, but its target audience is looking to be placated rather than challenged. A celebration of a Britain at the height of its Indian empire (and a post-Brexit nod to an England of more certain times) Victoria and Abdul is nothing more than soul-soothing sap, a kind of comfy slippers cinema that is the very definition of forgettable middle of the road, occasionally award-baiting feel-good fare.