Madame Web: Movie Review

Cast: Dakota Johnson, Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, Celeste O'Connor, Tahir Rahim, Emma Roberts, Adam Scott
Director: S J Clarkson

It had real potential - there's no denying that was the case for this spin-off set within the Spider-Man Universe.

But what emerges from Madame Web's web of utterly muddled catastrophe is something akin to near incoherent at times thanks to director SJ Clarkson's relative incompetence at helming many of the required action scenes with anything approaching clarity.

Johnson is Cassie, a paramedic with mom issues who works with a Ben Parker (but who has no reference to Peter throughout) and who suffers a near death experience that allows her the power of clairvoyance. So when she sees three teenage girls targeted by a maniac killer in a suit, she sets out to change the future and save the day.

Parts of Madame Web hint at what could have been - flashes of clever FX show the power and mystery of the web, but most of what emerges from SJ Clarkson's interpretation of a standalone story in a standalone universe is reduced to rote dialogue, near unwatchable action sequences and an over-reliance on flash forward moments right before they play out.

It helps little that Johnson seems to be continually disconnected from everything around her, with moments feeling like she simply wrapped a scene and asked someone to fix it in post production. Her fellow charges rarely emerge as fully-developed characters either, feeling more like perceptions of what young women should be.

Sweeney looks comatose at times and of the trio, the soon-to-be-star of The Last Of Us II TV series Merced is perhaps the only one who retains some dignity and brings some zing to the screen.

"I can't pretend to understand what's going on here," one character opines in the film's final third and it's possibly at this stage most of the audience will check out too, even if most of the characters spend most of their time dumping heavy exposition on screen. It does feel like large sections of the film were written by a dialogue AI as well.

Ironically rather than feeling like a Spider-Man film or one set in its world, its final moments evoke the TV series Birds of Prey and hint at frustrations with what could have been or what could - but never will - be.

It may mix coming-of-age with thriller, but unfortunately Clarkson, along with a clutch of screen writers, don't handle any of the tones well and the muted, messy film ultimately feels like a clunking disaster. It will win awards admittedly - but those are likely to be of the Razzie kind when the 2025 nominees are announced.